Skippy

Dev's latest reminded me of something that needs to be shared with everyone. I'll include some of the things here, but the link has all 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do. Here is a list of things that a Specialist in the Army was forbidden to do.

177. I am not to refer to a formation as “the boxy rectangle thingie”.
178. I am not “A lesbian trapped in a man's body”.
179. On Army documents, my race is not “Other”.
180. Nor is it “Secretariat, in the third”.
181. Pokémon® trainer is not an MOS.
182. There is no FM for “wall-to-wall counseling”.
183. My chain of command has neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Fruit Roll-Ups. ®
184. When operating a military vehicle I may *not* attempt something “I saw in a cartoon”.
185. My name is not a killing word.
186. I am not the Emperor of anything.
187. Must not taunt officers in the throes of nicotine withdrawal, with cigarettes.
188. May not challenge officers to “Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn”.
189. Do not dare SERE graduates to eat bugs. They will always do it.
190. Must not make s'mores while on guard duty.
191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.
192. The proper response to a briefing is not “That's what you think”.
193. The Masons and Gray Aliens are not in our chain of command.
194. Shouldn't take incriminating photos of my chain of command.
195. Shouldn't use Photoshop ® to create incriminating photos of my chain of command.
196. I am not allowed to give tattoos.
197. I am not allowed to sing “Henry the VIII I am” until verse 68 ever again.
198. Not allowed to lead a “Coup” during training missions.
199. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born.
200. My chain of command is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.
201. Must not valiantly push officers onto hand grenades to save the squad.

http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html

Military Humor (Week 1: Jan. 22-28)

Funny Military Bumper Stickers

*When in doubt, empty the magazine
*Any problem can be fixed with a belt-fed weapon
*The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
*If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.
*If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read this in English, thank a soldier.
*Don't tell my mom I'm in the Army, she thinks I play the piano in a whorehouse.
*Marines, always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.

New Twist in Iran Nuke Standoff

It was only a matter of time before the State of Israel threatened military action against the radical Iranian government for continuing its nuke program. However, the Germans and even the FRENCH have begun to suggest the possibility of military intervention if diplomacy through the United Nations fails. France's Chirac, the always outspoken critic of U.S. military action, said that he might use nuclear weapons against any state who sponsors a mass-murder terrorist attack. European nations talking military action??? Even use of nuclear weapons!?! Should America stay out of this battle just to see if Europe can resolve a global crisis all by itself? I sure bet it would be interesting to say the least.

Apparently Europe is beginning to finally open its eyes against the growing threat of Islamic terrorism. Maybe the rioting, growing immigration problems, and all the dramatically absurd threats and comments from Iran's President Ahmadinejad have triggered this outbreak of reality. The sovereign state of Iran has every right to develop a nuclear energy program, but its pretty obvious that its current leader isn't interested in any peaceful nuclear programs. Ahmadinejad seems like the kind of man who would risk the lives of countless Iranians to quench his nuclear ambitions.

Since the Israelis are preparing for possible military action to squash yet another Arab nuclear program and our military is ever-present in the Gulf region, Germany and France really have little to worry about. If the talks fail and Iran pulls an ignorant move, we all know the first to act will either be good ole' Uncle Sam or the IDF. Once again Europe will do most of the talking while leaving up to everyone else to get the job done...but at least they're thinking straight for once.

Bin Laden's Truce Offer = Al Qaeda Losing the WOT

Once again another videotape from the mass-murdering terrorist Usama bin Laden has been broadcasted by the Al-Jazeera Middle Eastern news monopolist. While dishing out his usual threats of attacks against our homeland he threw in a casual mention of a truce. Now why in the world would a man who loathes us to death and constantly calls upon Muslims to kill every last "crusader" say this? He suggests that his murder syndicate would suddenly stop attacking us if we left Iraq and Afghanistan to the creative Al Qaeda country re-building program that has done so well in such nations as....

Bin Laden and his terrorist organization is DYING. Plain and simple. While some look upon this recording as another omen or just one more threat tape on top of the pile of threat tapes I see this as proof that the United States is gaining more ground in winning the war on terrorism. Even IF bin Laden was seriously considering a truce it would mean that our nation re-building actions in Iraq and Afghanistan are working. The mere fact that he changed his usual anti-U.S. rhetoric means we must be doing something right.

There is a sickening sense of humor i detected in this latest Usama recording: bin Laden makes a truce offer to the American people, the same people he constantly talks about wanting to annihilate. Well I have an offer for you Mr. bin Laden. Sit around in your rat hideout and wait for death in whatever form its going to come to you.

5.56 mm NATO Ammunition Not Getting the Job Done?

The M16-A2 assault rifle and M4 Carbine are the two most commonly fielded weapons on the Iraq warfront, aside from the AK-47. Thankfully, our Army and Marine Corps are not supplied with the functionally reliable yet terribly inaccurate Kalashnikov rifle. The major negative aspect about our M-16's and M-4's is not due to the weapon design but rather to the type of round it fires.

Blackwater Contractors using the M4 Carbine

The M-16's and M-4's both fire the standard 5.56mm NATO round (similar to the .223) which is basically a .22 with more of a kick. Many soldiers have been complaining for some time that this round does not have enough power to take their target down like the 7.62 mm round. There have been a number of instances in which enemy combatants were hit numerous times with 5.56 ammo but were still able to keep charging and attacking. The bullets were simply going clean through their bodies with no massive brunt force coming with them. A 7.62 mm round on the other hand could drop an enemy soldier dead on the spot with a single shot. This is why the M-14 rifle is a favorite for use as a sniper rifle in Iraq because by attaching a scope, you have 30 semi-automatic rounds to fire from a good distance away from harm.


Image from http://www.army.mil


We certainly do not have to adopt a new "futuristic" assault rifle such as the XM8 or some other high-tech infantry weapon. What can the U.S. Military do to correct this ammunition blunder? An article in the Army Times hints at a good option: keep the 5.56 mm round but change its metal composite. I definitely suggest taking a look at this to see what I'm talking about:

5.56mm composite rounds

The 9 mm ammunition for the M9 sidearm has also borne the brunt of complaints about killing effectiveness because it too does not have the force that a .45 caliber bullet does. A fair number of soldiers overseas choose to use the .45 for this very reason and also because the 9 mm has the tendency to jam more frequently.

Hopefully we can shift away from using ammunition that allows our enemies to live to fight another day and start using rounds that get the job done and keep our men and women in the service alive and unharmed.